This year, my team has become a disaster.  Well, one of my teams.  While in one league, my team can be competitive, I have lost hope for the team I drafted with you people on Bostonsportz, in my running diary.  As some may remember, my first two picks were solid - Rudi Johnson and (ugh) Maurice Jones-Drew.  Actually, it isn't Jones-Drew, it's a two-toed sloth that is wearing "32" for the Jags this year. 

Those two picks have been the BIGGEST dissappointment.  I really thought that "Hey, given my 9th pick status, I am very comfortable with these two."  Now, not so much.  Johnson is hurt, and Slothy looks worse by the week.  The two of them last week COMBINED for 3 total fantasy points.  Now, I didnt leave a digit out.  THREE points.  Might as well take a punch to the stomach and a kick to the groin.

Now, I am 0-3 in this league, and I have never started that bad.  My other positional players have played well, but getting 3 points out of your 2 RB's kind of kills any other stats.  I can't go 0-4.  Cannot happen.  So, could Simmon's "Ewing Theory" work, now that I have Derrick Ward and Kenny Watson starting?  Here is to hoping.  I am playing Buddy, who is the ultimate trash talker.  I won't hear the end of it, should he beat me. 

In my other league, I am 2-1, even with Steven Jackson looking like a 3 toed-sloth.  I mean, just when it seemed he turned a corner, boom, injury.  My biggest coup in that draft was Jason Witten, who I didn't even want.  I wanted Vernon Davis and was pissed.  Man, do I feel good about how that happened.  This week though, I play my friend Andy, who is STACKED.  He has LT, Adrian Peterson, Carson Palmer, TO (who I traded to him), and so on....I mean, how did he get this stacked?  I can't believe it!  Can we get a commisioner's ruling on this??

Few tidbits:

1.  I could watch that Mike Gundy clip all day and still stand in shock and amazement each time.

2.  Hope Solo was right.  She WOULD have done better.  But soccer is awful, so let's move on.

3.  The Sox looked like they had a LOT of fun clinching the East.  (And when I say "Sox" I mean "Papelbon with a beer box on his head.")  What happens if they win it all?  I think they will loot, not the college kids.

4.  Gregg Easterbrook still needs a life.  Go figure.

5.  It is great to be a New England fan.  I don't care if everyone hates us. 

Here we go with tonight’s draft. First shot was fired when I told the league about the blog, and to get the jokes ready. Scott replied “I have a joke – Dave’s team.” This was at 9:38 am. Ah fantasy time. I love it.

8:07 – We are trying to vote on rules and money. This is going as well as trying to convince a Mormon to take off their magical undies.

8:10 – Finally some progress. We might actually get the thing started by 2 am.

8:14 – OK, really, we may start soon. No really, it is going to happen. We just said we were going to start at 7:30, but no one really meant it.

8:17 – FINALLY. Matt takes LT number 1 and Scott takes Jackson number 2. Wow, I haven’t been this shocked since K-Fed’s album did awful.

8:20 – CAN WE MAKE THE RARE FEAT OF PICKING WITHOUT MANNING GOING IN THE FIRST ROUND? SMELL THE EXCITEMENT!

8:21 – That didn’t last long. He just went 11^th.

8:23 – I just took Maurice Jones-Drew. Jack just replied, “He died.”

8:26 - And I just realized we are watching the Jaguars game, and Jones-Drew could get hurt at any minute. Why do I do this to myself?

8:29 – After 3 minutes, Taint says “Whose pick?” It was his of course, and he took Cadillac. Wow, talk about rushing.

8:37 – Just had our first repeat of the night from our gracious host, Dave! He is lucky we don’t do nudie runs for that. Scratch that, we are lucky we don’t do nudie runs for that.

8:39 – Dave just redeemed himself with a Kitna Comment: “He’s going to have a great year – for defensive backs.”

8:41 – Drew just made a huge deal of Dave missing the Brady pick. Then he picked Brandon Jacobs, who was actually picked BEFORE Brady.

8:44 – I just took Santana Moss, which is something I swore I wouldn’t do after last year. When he gets 30 yards the first 4 games, you can all say, “Justin, you know you shouldn’t have done that!” and I will be forced to tighten the noose around my neck in shame.

8:50 – We just had a story time timeout. Love picking with guys with kids.

8:57 – Phillip Rivers is about to fall into my lap. I love it. And yes, I know how bad that sounds.

8:58 – He is there! Yes! (Talk about an under appreciated QB this year. I mean, the guy still has so many weapons, yet everyone is still “eh” about him. Oh wait, Norv Turner is his coach. I should have thought about this…)

9:03 – Taint is talking about 6 minutes per pick. People are ready to riot over here. Also, we just saw our first “Prison Break” ad. I’m surprised we haven’t seen more “Anchor woman” ads. That show looks pathetic and disgusting. I need to see it.

9:08 – It’s back to Taint. He finally took Bernard Berrian after 3 minutes.

9:12 – Scotty took Donald Driver, and now he is in a heap on the field. Fantasy is so funny like that.

9:15 – Now Driver is getting carted from the field. Scotty is hanging his head in shame already.

9:21 – Between a break and going back to Taint, it can REALLY slow down a draft.

9:23 – This draft is taking the record for “Most repeated picks.” Seriously, Regan remembered more than this.

9:30 – Can I pick up Droughns late? Maybe, if Chris C. ever picks. I am catty tonight.

9:31 – Ahhh I got him. My running backs look ok. Just ok. But I like my well-rounded team. I like saying that in fantasy baseball, but not football.

9:36 – So Todd just completely skipped over Taint to scream out “Devery Henderson!” This is about the 4^th time he has done that. Finally it pays off, as Taint says, “Hey, I need a wide receiver! Devery Henderson.” Todd is about ready to smash his head into the table.

9:43 – Scott just exclaimed, “It’s only 9:20! This draft is going quick!” When corrected, he then ranted about he just got his watch fixed. Oh, life, you have a way of kicking us while we are down. And making us say dumb things in front of our buddies.

9:51 – Buddy just took Berrian and Jay Cutler, both who which have been gone for about 50 minutes.

??:?? – SOMEONE JUST COVERED THE CLOCK I DON’T KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS AAHHHHHHH.

10:01 – Phew. Clock is back. That’s what I get for using the cable box as the official timer. Anyway, This show “Back to You” with Frasier and Deborah from “Raymond” looks atrocious. Once again, I have to see this train wreck. The train wreck is always better than a good show. Did you see that pirate reality show? I wet myself about 6 times in a half hour, and it was on mute. I need to get a network job so I can come up with complete crap to put on the air.

10:06 – I am still waiting for the fool to take Rex Grossman. I am ready to pounce like Jack Bauer on a terrorist. At least, the real Jack Bauer, not the idiot that was going to jump off the cliff because he couldn’t see Audrey anymore.

10:13 – The league just figured out I was typing this online blog the whole time. I am forced to admit I namedropped a few times by accident. I am only admitting this since these guys will be reading this. But if you ask me, I’ve been on my best behavior all draft. I deserve an award actually for my sovereignty.

10:18 – I just missed Brandon Jones as a selection. Buddy responded “I’m not the only @$$hole, eat $&!#.” Duly noted.

10:23 – Todd just took Bryant Johnson. There is a chance I chase him off the road later tonight. Yes, it would be over an optional receiver, but don’t you all know that is where this game is won???

10:24 – We have now started a Riley Martin impersonation-fest. “Uhhhh you understand?”

10:28 – Jack was just quoted as saying “Anyone take Leon Washington. Not my pick, but I’m just namedropping.” Then, it comes to his pick, and takes Leon Washington. Nice.

10:34 – We are debating the hotness of Tina Cervasio vs. Hazel Mae. I’m a Tina man; she makes me weak in the knees. Hazel Mae has a lazy eye, and she is starting to look pregnant. There, I said it.

10:40 – Grossman has to be picked. It won’t a fun draft without it.

10:42 – Finally in the last round. I am thinking about taking Vick for comedy purposes.

10:48 – I stay away from Vick, and pick up Arnez Battle. I really should have taken Vick. Or Mark Rypien. You know, just for reaction.

10:50 – Buddy takes Priest Holmes as Mr. Irrelevant. He wanted to make sure I told you all that.

So here is the team:

Quarterbacks: Phillip River, Alex Smith

RB: Rudi Johnson, Maurice Jones-Drew, Ladell Betts, Reuben Droughns, and Anthony Thomas

WR: Torry Holt, Santana Moss, Vincente Jackson, Mike Furrey, Joe Jurevicious, and Arnez Battle

TE: Antonio Gates, Owen Daniels

K: Shayne Graham

Defense: Miami Dolphins

So that is about it. I would have made it longer, but I didn’t want to take up the whole page. Thanks for reading!

I just wanted to give everyone a heads-up that I will be publishing a running diary of my fantasy draft tomorrow.  Should be some interesting writing.  I am not sure whether I will write it consistently during the draft, or just take notes and type it later.  Either way, you should have it by late tomorrow night.

That's right, If TO (Terrell Owens) didn't suck! I would have won 2 Fantasy Football championships this year instead of just one. Well, it wasn't all his fault, but I'm still not happy. Here's why:

--I'm in 2 leagues, one that has CASH prizes (with my friend Jamie) & one just pride & bragging rights (just me). Which one did I win? That's right, the one with just pride.
--We acquired TO via a trade which helped some, but hurt more. (it was just like having the real TO) He ended up dropping a crucial pass in our final game where we were eliminated.
--The worst part is, since winning the CASH league 2 years ago we still get no respect from the other teams. It will only get worse now. (they can say all they want because Frank Gore is our keeper)

So, I look forward to dominating both leagues again next year! (I'm calling it operation Regain & Retain)