Top 10 Patriot-less NFL playoff activities.

Number 10: Fantasize about opening a joint bank account with Matt Cassel. March, 2009 initial deposit - $5 million.

Number 9: Contemplate how the Patriots could beat at least half the teams playing in wild-card weekend. 11-5 and no playoffs? Looky here son, I say, I say, 11-5 son (Foghorn Leghorn). 11-5 and no playoffs - can you believe it?

Number 8: Stop the insanity about this being Bill Belichick's best year of coaching. C'mon, the Pats are a pretty talented team. Yes, they had a lot of injuries, but replacement calls went out to the likes of Hall of Famer Junior Seau, not Detroit Lion practice squad players.

Number 7: Relax, fugetaboutit. It's not like we live in Kansas City, or St. Louis, or Cincinnati, or Oakland, or Detroit.

Number 6: Keep replaying the Assante Samuel near pick; the one that would have clinched the perfect season for the 2007 Patriots. Or, the almost-in-the-grasp Eli Manning throw to the helmet of that no-name Giant guy. Maybe the outcome will change, just like Game 6.

Number 5: (Off subject) - Ponder why Brian Scalabrine is still on the Celtics. Does Team Green require at least one carrot top? And, is Patrick O'Bryant really a member of the C's? Is he a real person even?

Number 4: Wonder if we'll ever see the innocent, fun-loving Tom Brady again. That would be pre-Bridget, pre-kid, pre-Gisele, pre dog walker, pre-cologne poster boy, pre-world traveler, good old TB who bled pigskin.

Number 3: Figure out why LT always has questionable injuries in the playoffs. The action figure of him in the post-season is sitting on the bench, helmet off, staring at a light bulb.

Number 2: Mandate no more throwing snow after touchdowns at Gillette. It was cool that one time. Even the snow angel is old news, with alter boy Wes Welker being penalized for a re-enactment.

And the Number 1 Patriot-less NFL playoff activity is: Picture Brett Favre and Eric Mangini in a made-for-two straight jacket, never to partake in a NFL sanctioned event again. And in related news, someone should get to that Cleveland owner real quick and explain what a rat smells like.

There you have it. Now you can watch the Divisional round of the playoffs in peace. Or not, brooding over how New England would defeat Tennessee, and then San Diego again in the AFC Championship game, at home. Oh, what could have been?

Talk to me:  jpsqwe@comcast.net