Each year adults nationwide save up their sick days for a few certain events.  Baseball's opening day, the release of the new Madden video game, Flag Day.  Well, I hope you people in New England have one sick day stashed away, because you may just want to call into work tomorrow. 

Adidas is releasing the Commander KG sneakers to just a few lucky, insanely rich people tomorrow.  Celtics.com is ticking down the minutes until release... as of right now, you have 11 hours, 13 minutes and 33 seconds until you can get your hands one a pair of these bad boys.

The sneakers are so limited that adidas will only produce eight pairs per game to hit retail, and each model will be tagged with the respective game (#s 1-7) on the lateral side of the shoe. Want a pair? You’ll only have to shell out $1017—with all the profits benefiting a Boston charity in collaboration with the NBA Cares program. The sneakers will debut tomorrow for Game 1 of the finals, and then will be available at Celtics.com, and the NBA store in New York City.

I know the proceeds are going for a good cause, but why would any sane person purchase these?   You would NEVER actually wear shoes that cost over $1,000, right?  So, what, they'd end up in a glass case on your mantle?  Could you imagine yourself, 40 years from now trying to explain them to your grandchildren?

"Well, you see, Sonny, Kevin Garnett was a great Celtic who helped us win our 17th championship.  Adidas made a special sneaker to commemorate the occasion.  Why, no, I've never worn them... they cost way too much money for that.  In fact, they've never come into contact with human skin.... Well, I spent one-thousand-seventeen dollars for these.  The seventeen represented the seventeenth Celtics championship.  It was cute, and Adidas probably figured, 'hey, if someone is willing to pay a grand for shoes, they won't balk at another seventeen bucks.'  What did the thousand represent?  Well, that's how idiotic and foolish I was with my money back then.  Yes, that is why we can't send you to go to a good school, because Grandpa spent all his savings on a commemorative pair of sneakers that have sat on a shelf ever since.  One day, if you're lucky, Grandpa just might pass those on to you when he's gone... Wha--- what do you mean you don't want them?  I paid a thousand dollars for those shoes!!   They have half of Kevin Garnett's face on the side!  And the finals trophy!  You'll take them, and you'll like them... oh, no you won't wear them!!  You will not touch these shoes, you ungrateful little twerp!  I take it back.  I am going to be buried in these sneakers!  Oh, no.  No you will not have me creamated just so you can have the shoes!  I paid a thousand dollars for a pair of sneakers, dammit!!"

So... yeah, if you don't mind ruining your entire family's future, only to have them resent you for the rest of eternity, by all means, buy these shoes.  Or, if you happen to have $1017 burning a hole in the ol' bank account and want to make a donation to the Boston SportZ office, we promise we won't hold a grudge.