Taken directly from the, "Was this completely necessary?" Department, the Boston Red Sox have announced that... drumroll please... Exotic Flowers are the new (first?) official florist of the Boston Red Sox!  YAAAAAAY! 

 Unfortunately, I was really pulling for Winston Flowers for this one.  They've got some kick-ass bouquets.

Disclaimer:  This is being written by a guy who once signed up for a Citizen's Bank checking account because they were the official bank of the Boston Celtics.  So, I'm probably an idiot, but does a baseball team really need an official florist?

 If we're going down this avenue, is there really any end to it all?  Eventually, we may end up with a big billboard plastered on the Monster, listing the top 500 "official sponsors of the Boston Red Sox".  Think about it!  We could have an official pencil, and official coffee mug, official steering wheel covers, maybe even an official lightbulb. 

Whether we like it or not, greed has a definite home on the baseball diamond.  Some sponsorships make sense in the realm of sports.  Beer, cars... hell, even Dunkin' Donuts makes sense.  But florists? 

 I would have loved to be in the meeting when that was discussed. 

John Henry:  We need more sponsors! 

Random Guy:  But, we already have a ton.  Some good ones, too.

John Henry:   I have an 18,000 square foot mansion with a wing for my staff!  Do you know how much that costs?

Random Guy:  I think it was about $16 million....

John Henry: You're damn right it was!  Now I need more money.  Staffs don't feed themselves, you know!  Now, who else is out there?  There's gotta be someone we haven't signed with yet!

Random Guy:  Um... I don't know... I don't think we have an official toilet paper yet.

John Henry:  This is no time for your potty humor (author's note: I just like the idea of John Henry saying "potty").  You've got 30 seconds to get me a good idea or you're outta here!

Random Guy: (frantically looking around the office, sees a vase full of roses) Um, how about a florist?

John Henry:  A florist, eh?

Random Guy:  Yeah, you know... if there's one thing our fans equate with the Red Sox it's, uh, flowers?!!?

John Henry:  You know, that makes so little sense we'd be dumb NOT to do it! 

It had to have gone down like that.  I refuse to believe differently. 

So, the next time you're at the game, or watching it on TV and your woman (or man, or whomever) is giving you a hard time because they just want to spend quality time with you (and you just want to watch the damn game)... you'll always have a constant reminder of a way to right the ship.  Buy them some flowers!

And that, my friends, might just be the genius behind it all... keep the significant others happy and they'll keep letting their men (and women!) watch the game.  

...Or it's just an incredibly pointless and idiotic partnership.  It's really too early to tell at this point.